Description

Definition
Pastoral care is the ability to assume long-term responsibility for the welfare and development of a group of people. In the Christian context, such a person assumes responsibility for the spiritual welfare of a group of believers and their spiritual development. This is not the position of pastor, nor is it someone hired as pastor of a church; for example, a pastor might have the aptitude of teaching or evangelism rather than pastoral care. Pastoral care is a natural aptitude that anyone might have, regardless of occupation or spiritual condition. Some Christian teachings call this the gift of shepherding.
“It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ” (Eph. 4:11-13). “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers–not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock” (1 Pet. 5:2-3).
Pastoral care is one of the character types God uses to prepare His people for service and build them up. The goal is to help God’s people have unity in faith and knowledge of Jesus, for them to become mature and Christlike. Those motivated by pastoral care are to serve as shepherds of God’s flock. This analogy shows how they are to care for people, the fact they are caring for God’s people and not their own, and the strong accountability they have to God.
Because you have pastoral motivation, you can guide, care for, and nurture people, either individually or in groups. You like to form long-term relationships with people, supporting and encouraging them, helping to build them up. You are probably patient with people, yet able to be firm when they need correction. You are likely interested in the details of people’s lives, what they are doing, how they feel, and so on. You protect people, support them when they struggle, and generally encourage them to grow and develop. You may enjoy being around children because you know how impressionable they are, how much they need your help and protection.
Due to your great concern for someone in your care and your involvement in his life, you may assume credit for his successes and responsibility for his failures. You may even feel his failure is proof you failed him in some way and that if you had prepared him better, he would not have failed. But that is not true. God’s relationship with Adam and Eve was perfect and He provided everything they needed, yet they failed.
You might overstep your pastoral responsibility and assume control of people’s lives, thinking you are protecting them by helping them make wise decisions. However, you must never encourage them to abdicate their responsibility. Instead, the apostle Paul showed that you are to lead people by example: “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1).

Typical Characteristics
● Interested in developing long-term relationships so you can support and encourage people.
● Patient with people, yet firm when they need correction.
● Feel responsible for other people’s personal development.

Tendencies
● General Orientation: extrovert. You can be very interactive and talkative.
● Priorities:
● People. People are your life and you enjoy investing yourself in them.
● Spirit. Your ultimate purpose is to develop people spiritually.
● Emotions, pleasure. People’s feelings are very important to you because you enjoy being involved in their lives.
● Issue Perception: subjective. You are very involved with people and what is happening to them, how they feel about it, and how you can encourage them.

Misunderstandings
Especially in Western culture with its emphasis on independence, people may resent your great interest in them, and feel like you are trying to invade their private lives or manipulate them.

Vocations and Roles
Pastor, parent, foster parent, and counselor.

Perversions

Self-Centeredness
(Perverts your aptitude by focusing it on you, emphasizing the pleasure or fulfillment it gives you.)
You are likely to have trouble releasing people after you have invested yourself in them because you want to continue nurturing them and be involved in their lives. This could apply to adults and to your grown children. You could easily smother people with your attention. You may even try to care for people you are not responsible for. Pastoral care can be a real boost to your pride, making you feel really important because so many people are depending on you.

Extremes
(Perverts by exaggerating, taking your characteristics and tendencies to extremes.)
You may become unwilling to let people “grow up,” continuing to nurture or care for them longer than is necessary or beneficial. You may try to keep people dependent on you. You may become a “busybody,” wanting to know all the details about other people.

Control
(Self-centeredness makes you want to be in control, and you struggle for control in a way that is unique to your character.)
Your desire to nurture and protect could easily become a need to control people.

Redemption

Putting on Important Traits
Certain godly character traits are especially important to you in pastoral care. Consciously developing the following traits will help you care for people, build them up, and prepare them for service.

● Humility (Considers self relatively unimportant compared to others; prevents using abilities for one’s own satisfaction.) Humility prevents you from using your influence to control people in your care or feeling important because they depend on you. It keeps you from accepting responsibility for their success or blame for their failure.
● Agape (Considers others’ welfare, needs, interests, and desires more important than your own; motivates you to act for others’ benefit regardless of personal impact.) Agape motivates you to serve whenever people need you and become involved in their most serious problems, even at great personal cost or inconvenience.
● Patience (Self-restraint in the face of provocation, offense, or difficulty caused by other people; tolerance of the intolerable.) People who are suffering or struggling (those who need your care) are not always receptive to you; they may be irritable, defensive, strong-willed, or even hostile toward you. Patience allows you to cope with the difficulties they create.
● Kindness (Appropriate, mild, and pleasant behavior toward others; expressed in actions that meet another person’s need or desire.) This motivates you to get involved with their problems and sorrows so you can care for them more effectively.
● Goodness (Action on another’s behalf, whether pleasant or unpleasant to them; motivates you to do what is best for others.): Sometimes this requires sternness and is not always gentle.
● Faith or faithfulness (Firm conviction regarding something for which there is no proof; action based on such conviction.) Faith enables you to continue serving your people in ways you believe will benefit them spiritually. The results may not be evident or may take a long time because life changes usually come slowly.
● Meekness (Gentleness; quality by which you accept another’s dealings with you as good, so you don’t dispute or resist.) By developing this trait in your relationship with God, you help impart it to the people in your care; this will help them accept the care you provide.

Repentance, Renewing Your Mind
(The changes you need to make in the way you think, including your attitudes, standards, priorities, and perspective.)
Your responsibility is the spiritual care and development of others, which includes providing support and encouragement. Your goal is to help them mature so they can serve others effectively. People always need pastoral care, but if you do your job well, your people will become less dependent on you. You must view yourself as a servant to your people.

Denying and Humbling Yourself
(Rejecting your own desires and self-interests. Refusing to be motivated by desire for recognition or credit for the results.)
You must serve your people to the extent they want your help and not manipulate them. Live an exemplary life before them, giving them an example of humility and service.

Taking up Your Cross
(Accepting that which has potential for great harm, threatens to break you down, or reveals your inadequacies.)
The long-term care of people can place great demands on you, which can wear you down and stress your relationships with your family. You will work very closely with people during their most trying times, put in very long or unpredictable hours, feel their stress, and have to address problems they are unable to solve. This will bring you to the end of your abilities and wear you down, possibly causing you great harm if you try to operate in your own strength.

Following Jesus
(How you uniquely imitate Jesus by doing what He would in your situation.)
Jesus called Himself the Great Shepherd, meaning He was the ultimate giver of pastoral care. He invited people to come to Him, yet He made the cost very clear. His “sheep” followed Him voluntarily because they loved Him and trusted His care. This is the example you are to follow.

Becoming Like a Child
(Accepting what God gives you, believing what He tells you, trusting Him to take care of you, and simply doing what He says.)
You can accept the people God sends to you, trusting Him to care for them through you. You must rely on God to show you what action will be in the person’s best interest–only He knows–then do what He shows you.