Description
Definition
“And in the church God has appointed . . . those able to help others” (1 Cor. 12:28). This is the ability to invest your talents and abilities in the lives and work of others so they can be more effective. It involves doing something for someone else to give them aid or assistance. The English words “help” and “serve” often are used interchangeably and do not define the level of personal commitment required of “those able to help others.”
The Greek word used in the verse quoted above has several shades of meaning. It means to help or benefit; that is, your efforts have a beneficial effect. It means to take up the person’s cause, which implies personal support of their goal or purpose rather than your own. It means to form an alliance with someone, which suggests loyalty. The word also means to help bear the person’s load or responsibility. Therefore because you have this motivation to help others, you readily commit yourself to one individual or group, take on their goal or purpose as your own, accept their responsibility as your own, and loyally do whatever you can to benefit them.
The Bible reveals that God had this kind of relationship with Israel: “He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful to Abraham and his descendants forever, even as he said to our fathers” (Luke 1:54-55). The New Testament encourages us to help those who cannot help themselves: “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak” (Acts 20:35). This example focuses on a particular group–the weak–rather than an individual.
Your main emphasis is on helping someone, and you willingly do anything to help them, however routine or mundane the tasks may be. You believe this allows the other person to focus on their main responsibilities, without the distractions of tasks you can do for them. You have a high level of commitment to them and are willing to do anything for them. Because of your commitment to the person, you are very responsive to their needs and supportive of their efforts. You are probably content if you know what they want done and receive their appreciation.
You can quickly come to their defense if someone threatens or ridicules them. You may stand up for them or fight their battles out of loyalty to them. Because your focus is doing what someone else wants, you may have difficulty making decisions or automatically defer if someone else expresses an opinion. You also are likely to defer in conflicts, especially with the person you are helping.
The Bible gives several examples of helpers who took advantage of their situations to provide for themselves. Adam’s helper, Eve, ate the forbidden fruit for the benefits it would provide her (Gen. 3:6). Elisha’s servant, Gehazi, used deception to receive a reward his master had declined (2 Kings 5:20). Jesus’ disciple, Judas, kept the moneybag and helped himself to its contents (John 12:6). Each of these discovered an opportunity resulting from his responsibilities as someone’s helper. Because a helper normally is entrusted with resources greater than their own and has such easy access to them, they will have unique temptations that test their loyalty.
Intense devotion to one person can be very selfish, if your motive is to help them because it makes you feel good, or because the person meets your needs. The aptitude of helping is person-centered, rather than task-centered. It is often one-on-one and focuses on the person’s current need. While they may look very similar, helping and serving are significantly different. The aptitude of service is task-centered and focuses on providing a particular service or skill to anyone who needs it, with very little interest in personal commitment.
Typical Characteristics
● Find small things that need to be done and do them without being asked.
● Help wherever needed, even with routine or mundane tasks.
● Emphasize assisting others, not just getting things done.
Tendencies
● Priorities: people. You are very loyal to an individual or group.
● Issue Perception: subjective, especially if it involves the person you are helping.
Misunderstandings
The person you help may misinterpret your loyalty or presume upon it and even expect you to do things that violate your standards, creating a conflict between your convictions and your desire to help the person. The person may take advantage of you by abusing your willingness to help them, “dumping everything” on you.
Vocations and Roles
Assistant, secretary, and clerk.
Perversions
Self-Centeredness
(Perverts your aptitude by focusing it on you, emphasizing the pleasure or fulfillment it gives you.)
You may develop an intense loyalty to the person you help primarily because you enjoy the personal commitment. You might rely on the person to help you decide or initiate action because you feel uncomfortable with that responsibility. Because you enjoy helping them, you may commit yourself to tasks they need to accept responsibility for themselves. This would be especially harmful to children and young people because your actions would teach them not to be responsible for themselves. You may find unique opportunities to embezzle resources belonging to the person you are helping, since you perform many different tasks for them.
Extremes
(Perverts by exaggerating, taking your characteristics and tendencies to extremes.)
Your loyalty could cause you to idolize the person, making you willing to do anything for them. You may find it difficult to say “no” to the person simply because of your desire to help them, so you overcommit yourself and neglect your other responsibilities.
Control
(Self-centeredness makes you want to be in control, and you struggle for control in a way that is unique to your character.)
You would feel a need to seize control if the person you help comes under attack in any way. You are likely to take up their offense.
Redemption
Putting on Important Traits
Certain godly character traits are especially important to you as a helper. Consciously developing the following traits will help you offer your services to the person you are helping.
● Humility (Considers self relatively unimportant compared to others; prevents using abilities for one’s own satisfaction.) Humility prevents you from using your position for personal gain or devoting your services to one person primarily because doing so meets your needs.
● Agape (Considers others’ welfare, needs, interests, and desires more important than your own; motivates you to act for others’ benefit regardless of personal impact.) Agape motivates you to invest yourself in someone else’s work or life rather than your own.
● Patience (Self-restraint in the face of provocation, offense, or difficulty caused by other people; tolerance of the intolerable.) Patience enables you to endure suffering caused by the person you are helping, whether the pain is due to normal human differences or being taken for granted. This may be one of your stronger traits.
● Kindness (Appropriate, mild, and pleasant behavior toward others; expressed in actions that meet another person’s need or desire.) Kindness makes you sensitive to the needs and desires of the person you are helping. It helps you get involved as needed, even if it involves personal pain and inconvenience.
● Faith or faithfulness (Firm conviction regarding something for which there is no proof; action based on such conviction.) Your confidence in and devotion to the person you help will cause you to be very faithful to them. Loyalty may be one of your stronger traits.
● Self-control (Restraint; temperance; moderation in thought, action, or feeling.) This helps you moderate your thoughts, actions, and feelings for the person you are helping, especially if they are of the opposite sex, and enables you to know when you have done enough.
Repentance, Renewing Your Mind
(The changes you need to make in the way you think, including your attitudes, standards, priorities, and perspective.)
Your role is to invest your talents and abilities in another’s life so they can become more effective. You must be careful not to give any human the devotion and loyalty that belong to God alone; you must have no gods other than Him. The help you give others is a service to God, as though you were working for the Lord rather than people (Col. 3:23).
Denying and Humbling Yourself
(Rejecting your own desires and self-interests. Refusing to be motivated by desire for recognition or credit for the results.)
Do not abuse your position of trust to embezzle resources or promote yourself. You may need to deny yourself the comfort of having someone else make decisions for you, which can easily lead to laziness or irresponsibility.
Taking up Your Cross
(Accepting that which has potential for great harm, threatens to break you down, or reveals your inadequacies.)
One form of taking up your cross may be accepting tasks that are clearly beyond your ability. A more likely form is learning to hear God for yourself and accepting responsibility for your choices. This may be very unpleasant or even threatening for you, and make you very aware of your inadequacies.
Following Jesus
(How you uniquely imitate Jesus by doing what He would in your situation.)
Your attitude should be the same as that of Jesus, who willingly became a servant to serve the needs of others (Matt. 20:28; Phil. 2:5-7).
Becoming Like a Child
(Accepting what God gives you, believing what He tells you, trusting Him to take care of you, and simply doing what He says.)
Your natural tendency is to be like a child toward the person you help, in the sense of accepting what they give you and trusting them to take care of you, but such childlikeness is only appropriate toward God.